Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Crummy Captains

Unused girl design for comic

Let's keel haul any ship captain in the movies who, when his ship is in immanent danger, barks out some stupid order like "Get us outta here!" These are usually sci-fi movies. Han Solo shouting to Chewie, his only crewmember, is one thing, but I would still imagine that the captain of a large ship would give a very specific course change, not something to be left up to the helmsman. Better yet, let's keel haul the screenwriter.

I hate this type of lazy writing where the writer isn't really thinking about what the character would say, but is just sub-consiously borrowing dialog that other characters in other movies have said.

That also goes for the police detective who saunters up onto the crime scene and asks the officer on scene "Whatta we got?" Hack is what we got. And let's lose those obligatory Hawaiian shirts worn by the tech geeks on space stations and deep sea labs. And stop writing kids who address adult men with a "Hey, mister," When was the last time, if ever, you heard a kid say that? Or refer to the old man's house in the neighborhood as "Old man (fill-in-the-blank)'s place?" Fuck that unoriginal spew. And fuck those *quirky* charatcers who are all into Elvis and wear the sideburns and sunglasses and say "Thankyouverymuch" a lot. Hardy fuckin har, ooooooh, what a crazy character.

To be continued.

Good points, I hate "sassy" characters or the "boy he was gunna retire next week" cop characters. Really pathetic writing.
Thanks! I also hate the obligatory coroner or nightshift morgue attendant who is so used to his job that he, get this, is eating a sandwhich while handling deadbodies.

Don't forget that while that coroner is eating said sandwich, one of the investigating officers is struggling to not throw up.
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