Monday, June 13, 2005


Mind Junk

In film, is there some unwritten rule that screenwriters follow that states all mental institutions must be staffed with at least one abusive orderly who is cruel (or at least disrespectful) to the patients? There always seems to be some antagonistic burly ham-headed asshole who torments the patients in his own special way. Worse than him is the un-imaginitive writer who keeps creating this character over and over.

The next time you watch a scene in which people are drinking from disposable coffee cups (the types with lids), tell me if you believe there is actually any type of hot liquid in there. I've seen so many shows where, if you pay attention, it's so obvious that the cups are empty (Ed, The 4400, Law and Order, 24). The actors just tend to swing their arms around, take huge sips, tilt the cup way too far when they drink, etc. Haven't any of these actors ever held or drank a hot cup of coffee before?

You ever throw a penny away? You might be straightening up your desk or doing some vacuuming and come across a single penny. Instead of saving it or going upstairs to put it in your penny jar, you figure it's time better spent to just throw it in the trash. I used to feel somewhat guilty about doing this, until one day I saw a homeless guy notice a penny on the sidewalk and walk right past it. I really hate pennies.

Speaking of pennies, remember those "Need a penny, take one. Spare a penny, leave one" dishes you used to see at convenience stores and coffee counters? Somewhere along the way, those little dishes morphed into tip jars. Probably about the same time jungles morphed into rain forests and egg drop souped morphed into egg flower soup.

Ahh, those metal studded belts that punk rockers used to wear in days of old. They had the belt around the waist and, sometimes, a little one around the wrist. Now, somehow, hipsters and soccer moms (!) have discovered this belt and are wearing them. Ugh.

I wish people would stop throwing the word "racist" around as a means to label any and every type of prejudice. A racist is someone who believes that they are superior to another and judges simply using race as the measurement. An Irish guy who thinks that a Chinese dry cleaner will do a better job on his shirts is a bigot, not a racist. I am also of the mind that we, as a culture, should stop being so quick to use the word "Nazi" to describe anything other than a true Nazi or follower of the Nazi doctrine. I believe that Nazi is probably the single most important word that should NOT be devalued with use.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


Crazy Rants

Since becoming a father, I've become even more aware and revolted when I hear about pedophiles and child molesters on the evening news. I still can't help but wonder, however, why in our culture the most common slang term for an object of sexual desire is "baby."

Yesterday was Wednesday. All the crazies come out on Wednesdays. I was surprised by a guy on the bus yesterday who suddenly screamed and the top of his lungs like he was being stabbed, and then he began to spaz out and kept saying "Seattle airport" over and over again. The reason this surprised me so much was because my he never appeared on my weirdo radar scan when I first boarded the bus. He looked like a regular passenger. I figure he must have Turret's syndrome. Due to a stand up comedian's routine 15 years ago, most of the population is under that misconception the Turret's is a disease that makes you uncontrollably shout obscenities, but that's only one possible symptom. With Turret's, the uncontrollable "twitch" can manifest itself in any number of ways and even disguised and controlled.

Hey "urban" kids at the bus stop, stop grabbing your crotch as if it were as acceptable as scratching your nose. You look like a horny moron with crabs. And honking your car horn when you see a pretty girl? Do you REALLY think that will score you points? And while we're at it, all you neo punks, stop acting pissed off when people stare at you. You want people not to stare? Then shave off that two foot high green mohawk, shithooks.

We have airtunes in our studio, which allows us to beam music from our laptops to the stereo in the middle of the room. We take turns playing music, but we all seem to try and play something that everyone *might* want to hear, and nothing that might be embarrassing or unwanted (like the Bay City Rollers). But I am going to breach that unspoken etiquette and playwhatever the Hell I feel like playing when it's my turn. I think it's time for a little "Chim Chiminy" today...

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