Monday, June 13, 2005


Mind Junk

In film, is there some unwritten rule that screenwriters follow that states all mental institutions must be staffed with at least one abusive orderly who is cruel (or at least disrespectful) to the patients? There always seems to be some antagonistic burly ham-headed asshole who torments the patients in his own special way. Worse than him is the un-imaginitive writer who keeps creating this character over and over.

The next time you watch a scene in which people are drinking from disposable coffee cups (the types with lids), tell me if you believe there is actually any type of hot liquid in there. I've seen so many shows where, if you pay attention, it's so obvious that the cups are empty (Ed, The 4400, Law and Order, 24). The actors just tend to swing their arms around, take huge sips, tilt the cup way too far when they drink, etc. Haven't any of these actors ever held or drank a hot cup of coffee before?

You ever throw a penny away? You might be straightening up your desk or doing some vacuuming and come across a single penny. Instead of saving it or going upstairs to put it in your penny jar, you figure it's time better spent to just throw it in the trash. I used to feel somewhat guilty about doing this, until one day I saw a homeless guy notice a penny on the sidewalk and walk right past it. I really hate pennies.

Speaking of pennies, remember those "Need a penny, take one. Spare a penny, leave one" dishes you used to see at convenience stores and coffee counters? Somewhere along the way, those little dishes morphed into tip jars. Probably about the same time jungles morphed into rain forests and egg drop souped morphed into egg flower soup.

Ahh, those metal studded belts that punk rockers used to wear in days of old. They had the belt around the waist and, sometimes, a little one around the wrist. Now, somehow, hipsters and soccer moms (!) have discovered this belt and are wearing them. Ugh.

I wish people would stop throwing the word "racist" around as a means to label any and every type of prejudice. A racist is someone who believes that they are superior to another and judges simply using race as the measurement. An Irish guy who thinks that a Chinese dry cleaner will do a better job on his shirts is a bigot, not a racist. I am also of the mind that we, as a culture, should stop being so quick to use the word "Nazi" to describe anything other than a true Nazi or follower of the Nazi doctrine. I believe that Nazi is probably the single most important word that should NOT be devalued with use.

You need to add Gilmore Girls to you list. Alexis Bledel, as beautiful as she is, seems to have no clue as to how to hold a latte.

Part of the problem here is our almost instinctual sense of basic physics: these actors repeatedly violate our sense of inertia, whipping their coffee cups about with a speed only possible for empty paper, not a decent slug of liquid.
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